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Transcript: Conditional Love and Parentification – Understanding the Roots of People-Pleasing “Okay, if you’re a people-pleaser, then it’s very likely that you’ve experienced some form of conditional love. One very common example is parentification of the child, where the caregiver or parent recruits the child to be their emotional support. Signs of this happening include […]
The Reverse Guilt-Shame Dynamic in People-Pleasing Many people-pleasers describe a deep sense of shame that drives their overextension to accommodate others. It’s almost the reverse of what should happen. Normally, if we see someone in need, we might feel moved to help, and if we don’t, guilt or shame could arise. In people-pleasers, however, guilt […]
Summary Three Brains: Balancing the Left and Right Hemispheres for a Healthier Life It could be argued that we have three brains: the right hemisphere, the left hemisphere, and the many neurons in our gut—equivalent in number to a dog’s brain. Today, I’d like to focus on the differences between the left and right hemispheres […]
Transcript A Brief Talk About Children of Cluster B Parents Hi, I wanted to talk a little bit today about the challenges of being the child of someone with a Cluster B personality disorder. This topic has come up with various clients recently, so I thought it would be worth exploring. To start, Cluster B personality […]
Mind, Conscious and Unconscious In the course of my work as a therapist, I am often talking to clients about the difference between conscious and unconscious mind. Many people have never even considered that such a division exists, and would assume that the mind is that ‘thing’ that is having thoughts, making decisions throughout the […]
Understanding Complexes and Subpersonalities: Pathways to Healing and Wholeness Today, I’m exploring the psychotherapeutic concept of complexes or subpersonalities—terms I use interchangeably. These ideas originate from Jungian psychology and have been further developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in his Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. They’re incredibly useful concepts because we all carry these inner parts […]
Welcome to Psychofiles Welcome to the first episode of Psychofiles, a new video/podcast series discussing matters of the mind. In this first episode I talk about relationships and where we go wrong and how we might prevent ourselves from creating problems in our relationships. I welcome your comments, thoughts and questions. Keep thinking good thoughts! […]
Or Why Therapists Should Not Affirm I have read many mission statements from various charities and media outlets recently that all revolve around the premise that one should ‘be allowed to be yourself’, or ‘provide a space to be your authentic self’. Indeed, many counselling and psychology professional bodies make similar statements referring to such […]
The impact of Technology on Human Psychology The last 25 years have seen unprecedented change in technologies and fundamentally altered human behaviour, yet we have barely begun to assess the impact of technology on human psychology and development. E.O.Wilson, biologist and naturalist, once said, The real problem of humanity is the following: we have Palaeolithic […]
(and the illusion of communication) I make it my own rule not to react with emotion online, to stay reasonable and to always attempt to bring out the best in people who disagree with me, it is a spiritual and communication challenge, not always successful. However, neither do I shy away from discussing difficult topics, […]